a different kind of ramblings

i probably ought not to do this now, but i'm going to.

my grandmother's not doing well (and the odds are i'm going to delete this before anyone reads this). i don't mean not well as in she's going to die tomorrow (god forbid), but she had an aneurismn late wednesday night. thank god she was vacationing with my grandfather in florida, near gainesville, which just so happens to be right where U of F has their hospital, which also just happens to be the best place to be if this kind of thing happens to you. so, pepere got ahold of the EMTs, they got her to the hospital in time to save her. that sucks to say - save her - i can't even belive this happened to her. but, she's alive.

my dad and his three sisters flew down from maine immediately, and they were with her and my grandfather on thursday, when things were very bad. and very scary. thursday night was a very, very scary night. i'm lucky enough to have spent my life with all four of my grandparents, and i'd never really entertained the thought of losing one of them. any of them. my grandparents are, on either side of the family, healthy, fit, tough people. they don't show weakness. they don't get sick. they're not going to die. period.

well, that all changed. early friday morning, nana went in for surgery, and it went great. if anything of that nature can go great. they relieved any immediate blood flow issues to her brain, located a potential second aneurism (to be operated on later next week once she's had time to recuperate), and called it a success.

which it is. she's not going anywhere. that tough, wonderful, loving, amazing woman won't give up the ghost that easily. i don't know if i'll be going down to florida to see her yet - i don't know how i can help other than to take pressure off of my dad and his sisters, but i do know that if they need it, my family has rallied. big time.

i'm scared. and writing this has helped a lot. she has a long road ahead of her, and she and my pepere have a terribly long and painful journey ahead, and nobody seems to know (especially the doctors) what's next.

all i (meaning me, my cousins and the extended family) know is we have to do all we can, whatever that is, to make sure she's comfortable, my pepere's comfortable, and my nana's kids (my dad and her sisters) are stable in what they have to to.

god, i'm scared. i want her to be as strong as i've known her to be. but i'm in new hampshire, living my own life, and i feel guilty for it. i hope i'm doing the right thing.

my new endeavor

so, folks, after a long, lengthy break from blogging (thanks to another round of the surgery bug), i'm back, and i'm not alone! check out a new blog that a few of us idiots set up for our impending doom - er, bike race.

http://jaychallenge.blogspot.com

and i'll be back with more informative, entertaining and thought-provoking entries in the coming days!